Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Andrew's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
1:54 am	Think I've already said it, but I'm gonna say it again.  I'm doing pretty swell, I've got a lot going on right now. Even so, there's just something that I can't put my finger on.  Maybe it's just that I'm crashing from being manic.  That's probably what it is, I've been having urges to SI lately, but I don't want to and I'll probably manage not to. Right now I'm just trying to take my mind off of it and calm myself down.  I'd call Courtney but she's gotta be up early (I know you'll probably say that I shoulda called you anyways, but I'd feel bad if I woke you and ya...).  I'll just think about tomorrow... Tomorrow is also my day off, I need to wake up at a reasonable hour and go over to the bank.  I'll deposit the check that Greg wrote me and then go home and pay off my credit card.  That will be one less thing that is stressing me out.  Then I should have around 200 dollars left, and have zero balance on my card.  I need to call my dad and let him know that I'm not gonna be able to go to dinner with him on thursday since I'm taking an extra shift.  Maybe I'll go for a swim in the pool, I kinda wanna wait until August though to start swimming again seriously.  It is normally $3 to use the pool but if I wait till August then I can buy a month long pass that is $30 so that's a much better deal.  I could just save the money entirely and hopefully get a bike.  What I really want to do is drop seven to eight hundred dollars on one but I don't really have that kind of money, and I doubt I will any time soon.  In which case I might as well try to find a fixie for cheap maybe around 100-150 or so.  I wanna dye my hair again before school starts but I'm not talking to Asia anymore so she can't do it for me and I can't really afford to get it done professionally again, that was just a one time birthday present to myself.  I don't really like how it looks right now,  gonna try to shave it myself and convince Greg to touch it up for me. First and foremost though I'm gonna buy a ticket to fly down in August, that'll probably be around 160-170 I figure.  Need to buy it soon so that they don't jack the prices or anything.  I guess I'm just kinda overwhelmed right now, there's a lot on my mind lately.  At least the apartment is clean, it feels like home again.  I can't think of anything on earth that would be better right now than to just have her by my side, resting together, as simple as that. I have been wanting to take 4 classes this semester, but I'm kinda thinking maybe I ought to just take 3.  I can definitely work more hours that way.  I guess I just need to talk to my dad for a bit and get some concrete info from him. I'm worried about me and Courtney.  I just don't wanna go too long without seeing her that things get stale or anything, and I could really use somebody right now.  I care about this girl a lot, she makes me happy and there's really not too many people who can do that.  I'm gonna try my best to find a way to make it work.  We will just have to make the absolute best out of the time that we are able to spend together.  Make it really count. Well so far this has worked for me kinda... I'm gonna take out my waste basket and maybe do some dishes.  Maybe after that I'll be able to just tire myself out and get some slumber. ~Drew Current Music: **silence** (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 19th, 2008
9:34 pm	Happy House It's crazy how much my life has changed recently.  Since my birthday there have been so many good things that happened to me (the bike ordeal was just a couple of days before I turned 23 I'm fairly certain) I'm really grateful for everything I have and everything I've earned and accomplished. Anyways I gave in and started working at the theatre.  I'll probably keep looking.  So far it's been really boring but at least I've got a cute girl keeping me distracted.  Speaking of which she is absolutely gorgeous and amazing! September can't come soon enough.  Actually I'm quite amazed at myself, feel so strange that I'm getting like this.  I'm worried, but I'm not gonna let that get in the way of my excitement.  If it's good (which I have a strong feeling that it will be) then we'll make things work and it'll be good.  I'm starting to really like this girl a lot and let her go to my head.  I'm happy. So I saw some funny shit today while at work.  The pictures speak for themselves, not much else to say... (p.s. these were the pics I was trying to send to you : P ) ( Intensity ) How intense is that?  Pretty nuts if you ask me. So Erika's birthday is in a couple weeks, gonna hang out with her for that, she wanted to get lunch sometime this coming week as well, so that ought to be good, haven't seen her for a month or so I guess.  Other than that nothing too major in the next 3-4 weeks.  Just gonna try and save as much money as I can for September and then use everything I have left to buy a new bicycle.  Gonna get a real nice one with shitty wheels probably.  That way can just buy some top of the line wheels a little ways down the line once I've saved up the money for em.  Wheels can be just as expensive as the frame so would work out alright I spose.  It just sucks that I was ready to buy performance wheels on the Razza, I had just put commuter tires on the older wheels and had the money saved up for some spiffy ones.  Anyways, I may just have to wait until the visit is over to buy a bike, it's a tough call. I like this girl a ton, and well... I'd say there's not much else to say about it (like I say about everything else) but there is a lot else to say about it so HA! All Aboard!!! ~Drew Current Music: SIOUXSIE!!! "HAPPY HOUSE" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 14th, 2008
8:33 pm	Up and Up Well, things have been going pretty well for me lately, not a whole lot that I can complain about.  -My check came in, just in time since otherwise I pretty much was broke -tomorrow I've got yet another job interview, but I've got a good feeling about this one -ALSO on the job front, I went to the Blank last thursday for Atomic, to hang out and just have a good time.  Mike and Marie were there and I chatted with them a little bit.  Mike wanted me to give him my resume because they're looking for another intern at Cisco right now.  THAT WOULD BE HUGE FOR ME... HUGE!!!  I'm nowhere near qualified for it, but I'd buck up and get the job done though.  Mike's a nice guy we talk pretty often whenever we're both there for Satori or Atomic. -Erika's birthday is coming up, that's gonna be obnoxious. -This thursday Flogging Molly is doing a free show in the park down the street, that's gonna be a pretty good time.  So much drunken revelry, gonna be ridiculous.  Our plan is pretty much to get as smashed and rowdy as possible without getting arrested.  Ya that would be unfortunate. -August 8th Monster Squad is getting back together to play a show, gonna have to show up for that and support the guys. -School starts August 20th, it's gonna be intense Despite all this awesome stuff coming up, I can't wait for September.  Gonna be an extravaganza, and I'll be a very happy boy. ~Drew Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Imperial Leather (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 13th, 2008
8:58 pm	Something less serious... Ok well maybe it is serious, VERY serious... my top 20 songs... lets see what I can come up with.... Career Opportunities - The Clash Debbie Loves Joey - Helen Love Banned From the Roxy - Crass Moon Over Marin - Dead Kennedys No Future No Hope - Defiance On the Edge - Monster Squad What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong Stay Free - The Clash Gang Control - Leftover Crack Subvert City - The Subhumans Solidarity - The Angelic Upstarts Can We Start Again - Bane Strength Through Pain - Monster Squad Do They Owe Us a Living - Crass Magnificent Seven - The Clash Gangsters - The Specials Chinese Takeaway - The Adicts Sick of It All - The Distillers What Holds Us Down - Bane Five Finger Discount - Leftover Crack Eh, that ought to do... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 9th, 2008
12:46 am	Land of the Free, Home of the Brave When I grow old, I hope to have grown old in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.  Where the proletariat has wrested it's freedom from the tight grasp of capitalism.  Where man and woman are equal on all fronts.  Where marriage is no longer a form of social slavery, but instead of union.  Where workers can revel together after a long day, without a trace of class or function. The most effective form of rule is that which is the most oppressive, and there is no system other than Capitalism which can maintain such a high level of oppression so stably.  Capitalism is based purely upon two things: private property and the goal of profit.  In a truly free state, private property would not exist.  In the consumer state which we live private property exists to keep the petty worker struggling so that the bourgeoisie can hold it over his head "this is what you can toil and slave away for, and if you have it you will be happy."  We are in a system where the goal is to waste as much as possible.  The more waste there is, the more consumption there is, the more production there is, THE MORE MONEY THERE IS FOR THOSE THAT CONTROL THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION.  Expend the most energy possible for the least amount of output. The problem is not that revolutionaries had no plan for the post-revolution.  It's that their utopia was an even greater utopia for those that planned to prey on them.  The workers who together as one control the factory tempted by the empty promises of the new politicians to move back to the old hierarchal establishment of power. We are imbeciles for happily working for the favor of those that oppress us, when they should be beholden to us.  To those that say utopia is impossible that there will always be lazy people dragging down the collective, yes there could be a contingent of the unwilling; however, capitalism is the system in which the lazy are highest on the totem pole.  I hope to grow old where there is no hierarchy. We are slaves by our own volition.  We must only become more aware of it and act upon that awareness. ************* It's all abstract, but at least I got it out there.  Will be easier for me to mull over.  The problem is that it IS all abstract, there is nothing practical about it.  I could go live in a commune with like-minded people but that doesn't change what's going on in the rest of the world.  I wrote a very detailed/ statistic filled essay about world hunger not too long ago.  Thinking further on it now; unfortunately it is counter-productive to end world poverty.  Keep them desperate and starving so that they are grateful when you throw them crumbs. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
9:13 pm	Yarostan & Sophia I've gone for a walk, I find myself doing that more and more often lately.  Just thinking.  It's nighttime now, but still hot out.  For some reason I think it would be really wonderful right now to just lay down in the grass in one of the parks down the street and just talk to someone.  Talk about everything I've been thinking about the past week and just hear someone else's input on it. As I was walking home I knew I wanted to write when I arrived and had a good idea of what I wanted to put down here.  Now that I'm at the keyboard, I don't know where to start. **Erika just called me to interrupt my train of thought, she's back from her trip and wanted to know how my 4th of July was** Ya, I guess I really don't know where to start, because I know if I start talking I'll seem like I've got a screw loose or something.  Now that I've got my new phone I've been downloading a few podcasts that I've been wanting to listen too...     I've come across a few where it's basically audio recordings of essays or books and have been listening to them as I've been walking around and thinking.  The one that's really striking me is a set of about 16 pairs of letters written back and forth between a man and a woman.  They give no sign of what year they were written or what part of the world they were in, but they're real (as in they are not fiction).     Basically they knew eachother when they were young (probably late teens), but the letters are written 20 years after they knew eachother.  I've only listened to the first letter written by the man and about half of the first one by the woman (sophia).  Based on the names and the descriptions of the events, I think they knew each other during the Solidarity Movement.  They were both factory workers at the time and it's really heartening to listen to.     It reminded me of some old friends.  Lately with all the thinking I've been doing about whether I'm on a path which I'm actually content with or not, I've been reading and listening to all sorts of material that I probably shouldn't be.  I'm on a good track with school (well except in regards of money) and I want to at least get some progress made on some sort of path I choose.     I dunno, right now like I said I would like to just have someone to bounce all this off of.  Right now I feel like the Incredible Hulk.  That I'm just about to smash everything around me.  Too many conflicting feelings.     Well anyways, gonna maybe go for another walk or maybe just grab something to munch on.  Adam and Matt came over and are watching South Park on the couch.  Kinda funny that Greg's friends come over to hang out now even when he's not here.  Ah well... need some grub.  Kinda funny though that I'd planned to come write 3-4 pages worth of stuff but didn't wind up getting any of it out. ~Drew (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 7th, 2008
7:50 pm	Off kilter Gawd damb... Dunno what it is.  Something about today though.  Just oIne of those days that pretty much might as well have not even happened.  I did stuff, but I didn't really accomplish anything.   I kinda passed out around 3pm or so when I came home, I was sitting at my desk and I don't really remember moving over to my bed, but I just woke up and it's almost 8pm.  I gotta make an appointment with my psychiatrist, got a card in the mail that says I'm overdue and I've kinda been avoiding doing that. I've been in one of those "I'm gonna do it on my own moods" which I know isn't a very good long-term plan.  I've been doing well lately, a few folks called me out on my eating disorder.  I'd always said "Oh I just am not a big eater." in the past, but they were the way good friends ought to be and wouldn't take that answer from me.  They were worried about me.  I've been really good about it lately though, been eating at least two meals each day and I'm thinking that I've gained a little weight.  Kinda a trip, that's always been an issue for me, since probably some point in middle school.  It's weird though I've been eating more now for the past month or so, really forcing myself when I'm not normally hungry.  Now though if I only eat one meal or don't eat for a day at all I start getting really dizzy and start getting vertigo.  Hehe  the fucking stigma though of people that are able to acknowledge their own flaws, often I feel like it's even worse for men since we're socialized to show as lit emotion as possible.  Emotion is healthy, keeps people interesting.  I'm proud of myself for a lot of things lately, that's just one of em.  New semester is coming up and I'm gonna rock it.  Just gotta get my rather dire financial situation sorted out.  I'm on my last legs, the stimulus check ought to be coming any day now though.  It will only tide me over, won't actually solve the problem. It's really hot out today, I think that was a contributor to me falling asleep.  I'm thirsty, time to go get a nice cold beverage... Peace, ~Drew Current Mood: still tired... Current Music: The Teenage Harlets (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 6th, 2008
7:43 pm	I'm genuinely tired, and will likely go to bed somewhat early today.  I've been casually browsing The Icarus Project lately.  I really ought to spend some time on there when I'm a bit more awake. My phone was fried last thursday because I put my jacket in the wash without realizing that it was in the pocket.  I just got a new one today, and it's rather spiffy.  Got a pretty decent deal on it and it does all sorts of cool stuff that my old one didn't do. I got a message from Jen earlier this afternoon saying that she felt like she shoulda kept it in her pants the other night and that she should have told me that she is trying to make things work with her ex.  It's kinda unfortunate, but I know I really enjoyed myself the other night.  My best experience in those regards at least. Honestly, Erika's advice has been sinking in pretty heavily even though I'd been quick to dismiss it initially.  That I need to just start hooking up with people or find a few other gals who just want to have a casual relationship, where we still date or hang out once a week or every other week but there's no commitment.  I dunno about that so much, but the way she put it does make some sense.  Being so anti-social for such a long time there's a lot that I've missed out on, and now that I'm starting to break those bonds I shouldn't be rushing to get into the first relationship that comes by. It's just a different mindset I spose.  I don't wanna feel like a sleaze, I know I will just because I've never really been like that before.  Even though I think of myself as a radical, there's definitely some conservative tendencies that I've got.  Dating is one of them. I'm a pretty good looking guy, still hard for me to accept that, but I'm starting to. I'm still reading Brave New World, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it.  This book is definitely a well-timed read for me, once again challenging a few of the ways I feel about things. ~Drew (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 5th, 2008
8:21 pm	...but that's not all. Well well well... whatdya know.  I'm still all giddy from last night/this morning, so amazing. To top it all off I finally finished the 4th episode of the podcast, and I really gotta say, I do think it's my best one yet.  Now to promote the fuck out of it!  Suneet I know you totally wanna help me whore out my podcast : P I'd write more, but I'm really really tired right now. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
10:47 am	Enjoy Yourself... She goes out on Friday night and she comes home on Saturday morning... Went out by myself to go watch the fireworks.  Figured since there were so many people around downtown that I'd see if anyone was over at the Blank. There wasn't any cover, told myself I'd only have 2 beers max.  Halfway through the last one I turn to the side and all the sudden a cutie punk chick was sitting down next to me.  I'll leave the rest alone, but needless to say... Erika would be proud. Enjoy yourself it's later than you think enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink the years go by as quickly as you wink enjoy yourself enjoy yourself it's later than you think Current Music: SPECIALS (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
10:23 pm	Here's that picture I mentioned... Can't really see it, but the girl next to me had a rainbow mohawk that looked really good, the colors were all super crisp.  There were probably a few more that came out better, since there were a bunch of random people taking pictures of us too, but this one's not so bad. VODKA + ORANGE JUICE in my hand there!!!  Good times! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
11:19 pm	IceNine Had quite the awesome weekend. Gonna have to really savor it, not much going on for the next 3 weeks or so. Saturday: Took the train to Mountain View, to make it a little easier on Laura. We drove out to the Gilman for the show, longest line I've ever seen there. Introspect put on a really solid set, it was kinda short though, or at least there were a lot of people cheering them to play a little longer. After they were done packing up the van I checked in with them and got another interview, talked a little bit about local/world issues. They were all so nice and really receptive, excited to get the podcast up now, so much good stuff... but that's not all. So during L.O.C.'s set, Jello Biafra comes out on stage (it was his 50th bday 2 weeks ago) and did 1-2 songs with them. It was pretty fucking awesome, I was totally blown away!!! After the show was over he was standing by the door shaking folks' hands and just chit chatting. I tried to go up and talk to him but I was totally star struck and all I could do was shake his hand, say happy birthday, and get him to DO AN INTRO FOR THE SHOW!!! Fucking A!!! A really great night all around. It's been almost 5 days and I'm still sore all over from it. Sunday: Went up to the city for Pride. Met up at Erika's place, got coffee and then went to Market St to watch the parade. It was pretty funny, people kept asking to take a picture with me, said yes of course. Had my hair up and had redyed it the day before for the show, so was getting a bit of attention from that. I gotta say Erika was looking really hot, but I'm past that now, the age gap is just too big. We were giving eachother grief the whole day and just kidding around. There was an extremely cute gal right down the way from us as we were watching the parade and Erika and I were joking that we should have gone up and talked to her because that way we'd have both bases covered. Hung out with Erika's two friends that are both named Rachel and are a couple it was funny. Brunnette Rachel and I had a fun time joking around too. Every once in awhile I'd turn around and catch people taking pictures of me, must have been tourists or something. After the parade we went to where all the booths + stages were and just people watched for awhile. Watching all the tourists + outta towners take pictures with the massive trannies. I ran into some other punks, most of em were younger but we all talked for a little while and just as I was about to go find the girls again a whole entourage of trannies walked by and we all took a picture together. It was pretty cool actually I'll have to see if I can find someone who can email me a copy, was cool with all the punks with crazy dyed hair and mohawks/bihawks/other stuff and then all the colorful trannies with glitter. I bet it made a really great picture, it was a lot of fun. After we did the outdoors thing, we met up with some more of Erika's friends (still all lesbians) and went to a gay bar (mostly gay women there). It had been my first time at a gay bar, I still had a really good time though, wasn't anything at all that bothered me. I did feel really bad though, there were 3-4 gay guys that came up and talked to me and said how cute I was and I wasn't an asshole or anything, I didn't totally shoot them down in a mean way, I just talked to em for awhile and moved on. The line for the restroom was pretty hilarious, was a unisex bathroom and all the girls were commenting on my hair and saying that if they found any hot straight girls that they'd send em my way hehehe. I did feel a little guilty though to some extent that I was there, I mean nobody made me feel unwelcome and I was there to support my friends, but I dunno how to put it right, didn't help that Erika was encouraging me to take my shirt off and such. I just felt bad about turning people down in their home turf when I didn't necessarily "belong" there, that's the best way I can put it. Had a really great time though, spent most of the time there just dancing by myself and enjoying it or chatting with the Rachel's. All in all was one of the better weekends I've had in quite a long while. Got a job interview on Thursday, Erika's Bday is on the 30th and gonna have a big shindig that weekend, Monster Squad is getting together for a show on Aug 8th. That will probably be the next one that I go to. I still need to buy a bike, but don't have a whole lot of money to spare right now, especially if I'm gonna hang out later this month. Cheers, ~drew (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
1:55 pm	Some good news... ( boring stuff... ) Saturday Leftover Crack, Citizen Fish, Intro5pect @ THE GILMAN!!! Gonna be sick as fuck. Shows gonna sell out for sure and anytime the Gilman gets that full... well there's nothing else on earth to compare it to for me... besides sex... and maybe cycling... I'm really looking forward to this show. Erika was talking to me about the last show we went to, and how it's good to see me when I'm happy, the exhausted Drew, drenched in sweat and probably bruised over most of my body after a long night of being in the pit or screamin it out on stage with the guys... with my shirt off and just a huge grin across my face. When I walked out of the pit that night she asked, "You done?" "Ya... I'm done," I replied. Neither of us said anything for the next 5 minutes or so, while we're waiting for the bus, she finally says, "You know... it's really good to see you happy." It's good to be happy. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 19th, 2008
1:23 am	Right now... Right now, there are a lot of Tristan and Greg's friends over in the apartment. I don't know how long it's been since I've had someone I knew over here. I hate feeling like this, I'm just gonna go for a walk, maybe when I get back I won't feel like cutting. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
8:48 pm	Live fast, because it won't last Hmm... I kinda need to get my act together... ought to start with a list I spose: -get a job -get prep'd for next semester -promote the podcast -finish the current episode -get out more often Well right now it's 9pm, so what ought I to do? Tomorrow I need to go drop off an application at a cafe nearby and need to go over to mom's and pick up a check that came. Need some income, so hard to find a fucking job around here, everywhere I go there's 10 other people waiting right behind me to do the same. This was the one I wrote the other day, figured I'd clean it up, got one more verse still but need to twist it around so it fits/sounds better. Certainly not my best, but I like it, was fun writing again. Think I wanna split up the last verse written here and split up the other one in my notebook so I can mixmatch em back together. **Hyde** All my life I've been dead inside, but when the rage takes over I'm finally alive A life of grandeur takes its toll I'm filled with hate, it takes control gotta run and hyde lock myself away till the pain subsides I gotta get away My life's work becomes a curse, a beast within begins to thirst Addicted to the power that steals my soul, lurking in the night, the heart grows cold gotta run and hyde lock myself away make the pain subside so I can be human one more day Peace for now... ~drew Current Music: Blondie - Atomic (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 15th, 2008
11:52 pm	Nothing in particular Getting ready for bed. Was kinda weird the other day, was going for a walk and started writing some lyrics. Wrote a song about jekyll and hyde, which had been on my mind the past few days (been thinking about reading it a second time through). The moment I finished the lyrics to the song, I stood up from the bench I was sitting on and the first thing I saw was a poster that Jekyll and Hyde had been playing at the Rep Theatre recently a few weeks ago. Weird I hadn't even been sitting there when I started writing it either. Strange... Other than that, I'm still looking for a job. Ericka got back from Portland and we hung out thursday for a couple hours. I was gonna go stay at her place on tuesday this next week and go to the birthday shindig for Jello Biafra, but she had to cancel. Think she'd had to do some event all the sudden with the same sex mariage stuff that's taking place on tuesday in SF. Went to the blank last night and it was rather dead, no cute girls there, at least none my age. We'll see what this week has in store, hopefully more than last week, which was next to nothing. Current Music: How soon is now? - The Smiths (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
9:34 am	Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me Well, the last two nights have been the first time I've cut in probably 40 days or so. I had been thinking about it last week, and then something came over me the other night and that's all she wrote. Having someone to go do things with would be fun! I know why I cut this week, I cut because I hate where I'm headed. I've been falling into a rut, not doing anything productive. I'm wasting time, I'm wasting days of my life that I can never have back. The pain wakes me up, the blood is a catalyst. Motivation when I can't find it anywhere else. Man, there's a REALLY good show tonight in sac town that I just found out about. Intro5pect + Dance for Destruction. Sall good though, I'll probably be seein intro5pect next month with citizen fish hopefully. What else is news? I should get my haircut today, getting a haircut is always something that sets me straight, can't reward myself though until I've done something worth being rewarded. Cutting is a punishment, it's a punishment for not doing anything, for being satisfied with being stagnant. Something big will come, just need to put in the effort and persevere. Need a little motivation. FUCK, gotta get some shit done today. (already put an application in with 2 really cool companies, not much left for me to do by myself until noon comes then I can apply to a few more places when they open their doors). Thanks for reading this I appreciate quite a bit. ~drew Current Music: The Smiths - Ask (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 2nd, 2008
5:12 am	All done with classes, still haven't found out my grades though. I need to swing by the admin office, there's some issue with my login. Gonna try and get some stuff taken care of today, need to do that and need to find a job now that the semester is over. I had been thinking of trying to go on tour with a band, do merch for em and get to see the country a little bit. Gonna have to do that instead next summer though, don't really have my finances in place where I'd be able to do that. Still need to have a goal for this summer though and I think my main focus will be promoting the podcast and getting it into the position I want it to be in. Gonna probably hang out with Ericka next weekend. Mad Sin is playing tomorrow and I'd really like to have the chance to see em but afraid I'm just gonna miss em this time around. Not really too much going on, just need to find a job before everything falls apart. Gone out a night or two but nothing very interesting at all. It's kinda sad almost, friday nights usually come down to: drinking at home by myself, or drinking at the bar by myself. I've been kinda tired lately and haven't got much done in the past week, but I chalk that up to winding down from the semester. Need to find myself a girlfriend. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 17th, 2008
9:07 pm	It's too hot... It's so fucking hot!!! Making it rather hard to study. Can only sit still for so long before I pass out. I should really be taking my meds, gonna do that right now... ... there we go. I'm hungry, I should probably go eat. I kind of want to swing by the blank and see what's going on there. No bands tonight but it'd be something to do. I'm really hungry... And when they walked downtown all the people would stare They used to laugh at her clothes and the color of their hair... Gonna go over to my dad's tomorrow and do a bit more studying, hopefully will be easier with the air conditioning and such. Fuck it, gonna go find some food, not really in the mood for mexican tonight though been eating it a lot the past week. I need to start eating more, I've been back to one meal a day, I just noticed this morning how skinny I'm getting and it's kinda gross. I just don't have the appetite but I need to force myself to eat. You know what I need, I need a really cute girlfriend who likes cooking. Maybe I wouldn't be so tired all the time either if I ate more. I'm just tired of life though, not really much to look forward to right now. Need to get some printed out. Well it's 9:42, where did the last hour go? Gonna clean up a little then bolt outta here. ~stay dead (need to add the intro5pect + cit fish show onto my calendar) Current Music: Intro5pect - profit margins (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 15th, 2008
7:10 am	Eh there now... It's been some time eh? Well nevertheless here I am. Been meaning to write for a bit, but been quite busy and quite stressed. As for school, I'm back on track, and only 5 days until the end of the semester. If I can plug on through then I'll be all done with that and in fair shape. I've got 2 essays yet to finish and will have 2 exams as well. I've been slacking as far as the studying goes though. Two weeks ago I met up with Erika and we took the train up to San Francisco and I stayed the night at her new apartment. We slept in separate beds this time. We went and saw Leftover Crack that night and the show was pretty good. Erika wasn't all too thrilled with all of the crusty kids, I don't mind em, some of the time I almost envy them, but most of the time it's just pitty. It's nice to see them smile though. I've finished my 3rd podcast and it's now available. La Plebe are playing tomorrow night. I saw the Nekromantix + LCB a week or two ago, Johnny O was playing bass again for LCB and we had a chat for awhile, he was kinda joking around with me too while they were on stage, it was a good time. While Nekromantix were on stage I was dancin' a bit, and a rather cute gal came up to join. We had a good time, but as soon as the song was over she completely disappeared. I should have talked to her maybe. The morning I came back from visiting with Erika, I was in such a good mood. She always puts me in a good mood, not many I've met that can carry a conversation like her. She's honest. She called me out when we went to get food though. I bought two tacos but could only eat one and she was harping me about needing to eat more, and that I have an eating disorder. Maybe I do, I just don't get hungry often is all, there I go making excuses. Greg's still sleeping on my couch these days and I mentioned it to him when I got home and he agreed with her pretty wholeheartedly. I've been off my meds, which is bad and I ought to get back on em, but I've had quite the rough time remembering. I've been really back and forth lately, it's not easy, but we've all got our own shit to deal with otherwise it just doesn't get done. Gonna take a shower, burn a CD, buy some new batteries for my walkman, and then go get some studying done. Really I haven't got too much to complain about right now, but I sure wouldn't mind waking up to a cute punk chick sleeping next to me. Anyways though I'm rather proud of the podcast. I got an interview with the guys in the forgotten and I think it really took the show up to the next level. Just means I've gotta step it up a notch for the next show and that I've gotta start lining something up for later as well. Gonna talk to Jake, that'd be quite a big deal if I could get a quick set of words from him when they swing by this summer. (1 Comment |Comment on this)